My life is going crazy. Things are happening and all i know is that i am going to keep trying. It isnt really bad, but it is just really confusing. In my confusion this morning, i went to the park. At the park, i read exodus. I read how God was going to abandon his people because he was scared he was going to destroy them because they were “stiff-necked.” Moses then convinces him to stay with these people because they need him. I thought it was very interesting to see God doubt… Or maybe it wasnt doubt, but it was true love.
He truly loved his people so he thought it was best for his people if he left so that he wouldnt have to unleash his wraith upon them and destroy them. Maybe a huge part of love is doubt. Maybe it is a doubt wondering if staying with, in God’s case, his people, is really the best thing. Maybe it is a doubt that you love somebody so much that you are scared you are going to hurt/destroy them, so you let the thought of running away enter your mind.
I thought it was very ironic considering my life now.
But, in the end, Moses convinced God to stay with his people. And, God did unleash his wraith at times, but he always loved his people.
Love. So many things and traits are implied in that word.
I was asked what the meaning of life was a while ago. Or something like that. Maybe it was more of, what are we living for. The essence is still the same. I think that we are inevitable living to try and grasp, to get a fraction of that perfect love that God obtains. To get that love from God, and to get the imperfect love from fellow human beings.
While all of these thoughts where swirling around in my head, i was resting, lieing down under a tree on the grass, simply listening to the sounds of nature (and the sounds of the workers mowing the lawn -__-), i was rudely interrupted by booming sounds, and it got closer and closer. I open my eyes and look around, and i see the gangsters (like legit ones) and they are driving around the parking lot. They park, and the music is still blasting. I decide to retreat to my car because i dont really like the music. Soon, the gansters leave. Once again quiet, i reflect more and eat my lunch of 2 mcChickens. I am later interrupted again by the same gangsters, but this time they park right next to me. If i wasnt in such a w/e mood, i would have been really scared, but this time i was only partially scared. I was like, well, if something bad happens to me, then its not like i can do anything about it by being scared. One of the gangsters proceed to leave the car. another gangster proceeds to roll down the window that is near me, and ask me if i burned. At first, i was like uhh… wtf is that. But, i realized it was drug related, so i said no. Then, he paused for a second, and asked me if i wanted to burn. Unsure of what burning was at the time, and knowing it was drug related, i declined again. The girl who was driving, sarcastically/politely asked if it was okay if they burned. I said i didnt mind, and that it was a free country. I guess satisfied with this response, the girl says, sarcasticly and politely, “sorry we ruined your lunch.”
Now, the guy who was outside of the car continued to wander around near the car aimlessly, and decides to get between my car and the other car. He then puts his head inside the gangster’s car’s window, and the guy in the passenger seat proceeds to shove his head out the window. This is later followed by the remark, wtf are you trying to do, kiss me? fck off!
the gangster who put his head in the window said, Dude, fck you. if i was fcking gay, i wouldnt fcking kiss a ugly fck like you.
(sry for profanity. but it will continue lol.)
The guy in the passenger seat then says, dont fcking kiss me u faggot. there are 3 other girls in this car. they dont need to see ur gay fcking shit anymore. The guy outside proceeds to tell the guy in the passenger seat to fck off. At this time, if i could, i would have laughed aloud b/c it was so funny. I then finished my lunch, and left.
I went on battle net to talk to my dota “friends” to ask them what burning meant. My dota “friends” live in the real world so they actually know these things. They told me this was to smoke a blunt, so i was then enlightened in the drug slang world…
My life..
is very eventful…
two days ago i got chased by a cow…
yesterday i had a crazy conv…
today i got asked if i wanted to burn…
tomorrow… i dont even wanna know. :P
