Searchingformyself

American Pacifism

            I am writing this not because I want to or think it is interesting. I am writing this because it is what I see. What I see makes me depressed, sad to the very center of myself. I am watching my fellow young adults and the children of this country grow up loving nothing. I am finding that the American life is nothing more than a set of rituals that stresses efficiency and luxury and denies us passion. We do not love; we depend. We do not have passion; we have a busy life. We do not have time; we have a schedule.

                        Children

We are corrupted as soon as we are able to walk. Our children are constantly drawn to the television, as they sit in front of it, entranced. When not allowed to watch television, the child throws a fit because he or she likes to watch television. The violent cartoons are funny to them, and they act like a pacifier to the child. The parent allows the child to watch television because it makes their life easier. If a child has a portable screen with them such as a game boy, all the nearby children gather around to watch the child play. From the youngest of ages, we are taught to simply entertain ourselves. The parents allow this to occur because when the child is entertained, they can have their own life. Not only does the child learn to entertain himself, but he also learns to deal with being separated from his parents at a young age. At an even deeper level, the child learns from his parents to take the easy way of life because the parents took the easy way of life with them. I used to do nursery for my church. I would take care of the young children and I would play with them. I was always saddened when one of them brought a gameboy because I saw how the majority of the nursery lost the will to play with each other and began to watch the child play his gameboy. Even as children, we are losing the ability to be social and interact with others. Then, the child begins to grow up and become tired of their childish cartoons and want more.

            Teenagers

As we grow older, our innocence slowly fades. We stop asking blunt questions, stop doing what we feel and become even more bound to the ways of the earth. We grow tired of the cartoons that we used to watch. We feel that we need more. We don’t know what it is, so we search what is around us. We all find ways to pacify ourselves. It could be playing a video game, watching television programs, going shopping, reading online blogs, surfing the Internet, grades, or even worrying about our appearance. As we grow up, we potentially get trapped in even worse addictions such as drugs, substance abuse, domestic abuse, sex, anything. The longer we do these things, the more that we need it. Soon, we become dependent on it. At that point, we almost completely forget what we love, what we could have a passion for. All is lost in the abyss of apathy.

Being a typical high school teenager, I became lost. My best friend left to move to China, and I was left with people I knew, but not true friends. I lingered on the edges of a group of friends, kind of part of it, kind of not. But yet I didn’t think about it too much. I personally had pacified myself with videogames. I didn’t study, I went home, played video games, taking breaks only to eat and when forced to by my parents. I lived through my video games. I ignored my entire life because of video games and it consumed me. The only time I was reminded by my loneliness was at school. So, I went to church, which completely changed my life. However, even though I was a Christian and I loved and followed God, I still depended on the video games. I couldn’t let go because I didn’t know what to do with myself and it was so much easier to play video games than to deal with my life. Then, I graduated high school, and I entered college.

            Young Adults

The early twenties is supposedly the peak of the human life. It is when anything is possible and we are supposed to live our lives to the fullest. But what does that mean? In college, it seems to mean partying, getting wasted and high, and hanging out with friends. That life to me seems to be incredibly boring and I wonder why it is suppose to be so great. The way I see it is that you get high and drunk is to forget is to forget who you are and that you are mortal. Why is forgetting supposed to be the best part of our lives? Because we live in a depressed nation. In college we get a chance to start our lives over, impress a new image on people, be who you want to be. Despite this great chance, I see it wasted so many times. We continue to do what we do best, chose the easy way. While this is different for everybody, it has the same end result, no passion.

During my first half of college, I did what I did in high school. I played video games whenever I could. I would go to class, do homework, occasionally hang out with friends, and play video games. It continued to consume me, to force me down to live a passive life. Finally, I broke free of it and I realized that I wasn’t living the life I was made to live. I forgot the passion that I had, to understand people. I forgot how to love the people that I loved, and I let my life fall apart. Luckily for me, I realized this before it was too late. However, when I look around me, with my eyes now opened, I see my peers lost just like I was. They merely exist until the next party, the next chance to get high, and the next time to escape themselves. Why do we always want to escape? Because we live in a depressed nation and are depressed.

            Adults

While I have no personal experience with this, I watch adults and how they live their lives. I watch how they live a 9 to 5 job, come home, rest, cook dinner, rest, and then sleep. Occasionally they will take vacations, relaxing and spending the money that they make. However, I see very few people with jobs that they truly love. With lives that they truly love. I see people working jobs for money, to live comfortably, to live a life of ease. I see people working jobs that they do not love and are completely irrelevant to who they are and what they love.

I remember adults always telling me to enjoy my time in college, as it is a once in a lifetime experience. And I think, why don’t you enjoy your life as an adult? Isn’t that a once in a lifetime experience? Every moment is unique, but yet for some reason college is special? Is it special because it is a time to foster passions and do something with them? Why is college the time? Why isn’t the time now for all these adults. Even further, I feel like many adults wish they were young again. So they could do what? Relive their life? If somebody wants to relive their life, then they are living a life not worth living, without passion. They are using the excuse that they are too old to pursue their passion. The only valid excuse they could have for ignoring their passion is that they are too far gone down the road, too stuck in their cozy lifestyle to change.

Overall

            No matter who it is, I see passionless lives all around me. No matter where I go, no matter where I look, I see meaningless lives. It is the American way, and will always be. We have taught efficiency and addictions to luxuries, we have forgotten ourselves. It is the curse of America which so many people see as blessing. It is what will destroy us as a people and keep us away from God.

Isaiah 59:2
But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.