After recently quitting LoL (a video game) and all other video games for that matter, i have found that i have lots of time on my hands. I knew how much time i spent playing, but i didnt exactly know how much i could do with it. It is funny how time works, sometimes we are fighting to get more of it, and others we are watching the clock tick painfully slow as we dread the hours to come. I find myself often lost with too much time, and no reason to push forward and do something productive. While my room is in a much cleaner state, i visit my computer to write more often, and i even study harder, i still find so more free time. But i realize that i am often inspired to do something when i relax and just let my mind drift. Sometimes it drifts to friends and other people, other times it drifts to church issues, and other times it drifts to myself. I often think about who i am, and why i am who i am. i start to realize that i am not who i think i am or who i try to be because i am scared. i realize that i am often scared to tell people about me, but most of all, about what i love. i start to see that my old life used to be simply an escape into a world that wasnt real. An escape from reality. As my roommate once said, i read and watch t.v. because my life isnt quite interesting enough for me. When i look at him, i can easily see that he isnt putting himself outside his comfort zone nearly enough. How was i different when i sat beside him, playing video games instead of watching tv? i wasnt. It guess it is time to do something with my life again.
